Day Four, Falling Off the Wagon

So I know I haven't posted in a week. I knew it would happen. I am very bad at following through. But I believe the key to success in anything is getting back up when you fall down.

And I don't even have a good excuse. My cousin is in town from out of state and I just have been spending a lot of time with her. But, that said, because I haven't been blogging doesn't mean I haven't been drinking water and making healthy choices. I have made a few bad ones, but for the most part, I try and make good choices. I just try and remember how guilty I feel when I eat bad. And it effects how I feel physically, too. When I eat good, I feel good. It is so simple, and makes so much sense, but I never attributed how crappy I felt to what I was eating, drinking, and doing.

But today I am back on the horse. I am going to exercise, drink water, and live better.

Today, it started with this:

I started a new Zombies, Run! 5k Training account so that I could start over. And I did. The first mission, which is like a background story mission (and I never did previously) didn't involve any running instructions (tomorrow will) but I did run a little. And I mean a little. But I got out there and moved.

Which is a lot better than I have been doing lately.

It feels good to try again.

And we are getting a treadmill,so I can actually push myself when it comes to speed. I feel like I can't when I am out running or whatever. I don't want to kill myself or anything, but I just want to push myself.

I am so excited.

And also, I am starting to track my calories again. It is time consuming and sometimes frightening, but I felt like it did really help put things in persepective. OH and I actually measured my cereal this morning. Mind blowing how much I was really eating. I put the 3/4 scoop (the serving size listed) in the cereal container so that I don't forget. How smart am I?

Today's Reason To Be Fit is very fitting:

Vice Busting Diet, Day Three - Morning Questions

Hello, loves! Welcome to Day 3! I am amazed I have kept up with blogging this long. Seriously. If you knew me, I am not very good at follow through. But I am tired of being overweight. And if baring my soul for all of the internets helps, it helps.

What has been keeping me going is this phrase, right here:

Source

Life is hard. Losing my job was here. And despite what I originally thought, my life didn't fall apart. Dakota and I have kept our home. I am too pessimistic sometimes. I look at myself being over 100 lbs overweight and say to myself, I will never lose this weight. But the truth is, I have already lost 16 lbs. I didn't tell you this before, but my starting weight was 280. Even in falling off the wagon, I have hovered around the weight I am now. I just have to take action to get more weight off.

My point is, it may be hard to look at a goal of losing 150 pounds, but I've already lost almost 20. That's about 10% I've lost already! It's a start! I just have to keep going.

AM Affirmation: I believe in my ability to improve my health, my attitude and my life. I am worthy of the best that life has to offer and today I have the opportunity to get closer to realizing my dreams and goals.

* Identify and write down your one biggest food or beverage ‘vice’ that is most contributing to your weight, that is keeping you from reaching your health and fitness goals. : Candy Bar

How often during the day do you consume it, and how much? 3 Avg./week

Write down what healthy food you will use as a replacement: fruit, like apples or bananas.

Do I feel I am missing something?  No, I only go to candy because it is convienient. I will try and make fruit more accessible to me.

My actions for today, that are going to become habits:

1. Carrying a water bottle and drinking from it often throughout each day.
2. Eliminating my #1 vice and replacing it with a health substitute.

Have a great day, loves. I will be back to answer questions tonight.
For now, I make breakfast! :)

Vice Busting Diet, Day Two

Good morning, loves!
Welcome to Day 2!

Today is again about water. Water is very important for your body, considering our bodies are like 75% water.

Now, I will be the first to admit that I was never good about drinking water. When I was a kid, my mom limited our sodas to one per day (usually dinner). When I grew up, I started drinking soda more and more. I loved it.

But now, after I have been off and on drinking only water (I usually have a glass of milk with breakfast and dinner.. I love milk)  I go to drink a soda and it feels wrong on my tongue. Like, too slippery or something. Except fountain sodas. They are still good. But I MUST SAY NO! I usually am pretty good. I no longer want to drink my calories.

Here is about how much water you should be drinking:

Your body weight (in pounds) ÷ 2 = targeted ounces of water per day.

It's a lot, right?! Well, at my current weight at 264 (I'm not going to weigh myself until the book tells me to.. no matter how much I want to!) that means I need to drink 132 ounces a day! Wow! Well, I have probably 32 under my belt so far for the day. Only 100 left to go! I'm going to try and build up to that. And drink water all day long, rather than wait until I'm dehydrated!

AM Affirmation: I believe in my ability to improve my health, my attitude and my life. I am worthy of the best that life has to offer and today I have the opportunity to get closer to realizing my dreams and goals.



Today’s Actions:

Current weight:264 lbs.

This is me today: (Well, a few weeks ago,, on our vacation)

This is a picture of the life I want!

dream life by jessiekay77 featuring short skirts

This isn't just about my weight. This is the life I want. I want to be able to have a nice savings account. I want to be Dakota's wife and have a family. I cannot wait to be his wife. I want a kick-ass career that I will be confident in myself, and love what I do. Oh, and make money at it. I want to wear short skirts and not feel self conscious. I want to have a love of exercise. The journal says that tomorrow we will take steps toward this life.. I know someday that this will be my life. I just think that losing weight will help my self confidence to get there..

Evening Questions.. because I'm late.


Write down what was positive about today.
I bench pressed today with Dakota. It was fun. He made me laugh. And my arms are sore. So I would say that's a win, yes?

What one or two things can I do tomorrow to make it a more positive day?
Get up and exercise in the morning!

PM Affirmation: I am thankful for today and the chance that I had to improve my life. I forgive
myself for any shortcomings I may have had, and I look forward to the opportunity that tomorrow
brings to take action toward my goals!

Have a great night, loves. Stay awesome.

Vice Busting Diet, Day One - Evening Questions

Good evening, loves! This post is going up a little later than I would've liked, but sometimes life gets in the way. I was hoping to get some exercise in tonight, but instead I visited with my mom and watched our shows (Switched at Birth was weird this week) and then came home and got everything (finally, everything ) out of our old house. That might count for something, especially since I walked everything back and forth.

So here are my evening questions for tonight.

PM Affirmation: I am thankful for today and the chance that I had to improve my life. I forgive myself for any shortcomings I may have had, and I look forward to the opportunity that tomorrow brings to take action toward my goals!

Write down what was positive about today. 
Today, I had a fizz stick, left over from the detox diet, so I figured, what the hell. I tried it and I really did seem like I could focus better. I am normally very ADD, but after I drank the fizz stick (you mix it with a bottle of water) I could hone in on what I was trying to do so much better. I got a lot done.

Also, my morning walk was nice. 6 AM is nice this time of year. I walked through the sprinklers at the park twice. It was nice to cool off a bit.

What one or two things can I do tomorrow to make it a more positive day? 
I might try and drink another fizz stick (I have a few more) and use it to exercise, like I've done other people do. I wonder if it will make a difference.

I will also plan my dinner better tomorrow, considering I still haven't had dinner. I'll figure something out.

I hope you all had a wonderful day!
See you back here tomorrow for Day 2!

Vice Busting Diet, Day One - Morning Questions

I mentioned yesterday that on this blog I am going to be going through the Vice Busting Diet, which I have started a few times, but never actually made it through all 12 weeks of the book.

That's going to change today.

The whole thing about the Vice Busting Diet, is that you bust your vices, one bad habit at a time. Sounds do able, right? After a few days, the book tells you to work out as well. I already walked this morning, so I'm ahead. I think the hardest thing about this book is to go as slow as it says. But, I think my problem with diets and changing my lifestyle thus far has been that I have thrown myself in too hard, and gotten discouraged when nothing happened after a week or two.  So I am going to try and follow the book the best I can.. except for working out. I will be trying to, at the very least, go for a walk every day.

The Vice Busting Diet Journal has affirmations that you are supposed to say to yourself to help yourself along in this journey. I will be posting these here as well as my answers to the journal questions.

AM Affirmation: I believe in my ability to improve my health, my attitude and my life. I am worthy of the best that life has to offer and today I have the opportunity to get closer to realizing my dreams and goals.

Journal Questions:

List 10 adjectives that you feel describe yourself as you are now:

1. Overweight
2. Unhappy with myself
3. Lazy
4. Tired
5. Sad
6. Talented
7. Confident
8. Ambitious
9. Friendly
10. Reliable

How do these words make me feel when I read them?

They certainly make me sad. But they also make me realize that I described negative words for my body and my body image, but positive words for ME... so I guess that's something, right?

Now write ten adjectives that you would use to positively describe YOU!

1. Confident
2. Ambitious
3. Friendly
4. Reliable
5. Talented
6. Dedicated
7. Determined
8. Loyal
9. Loveable
10. Intelligent

How do these words make you feel when you read them?

Much better. I feel kinda like I'm tooting my own horn with these words, but they make me happy to read them. I feel like this is much more about me. As the journal says, "your body does not have to be a reflection of the person YOU are". And that is very true. That's something that I will work hard to remember.

Do I believe that this plan will work for me? 

Yes! I think so!

What do I feel will make this plan work?

I think that if I can get myself to journal here every day (twice a day, for AM and PM questions), keep track of my food, drink water, and exercise, it will work. I just can't give up. I have to keep going. And ultimately, I believe these steps will lead to my weight loss. And feeling better overall.

Have a great day, loves.

I will be back to answer more questions tonight.

Please note that I am in no way affiliated with Julia Havey or the Vice Busting Diet, this is just a way for me to journal in way that I feel will be helpful to me. 

My Weight Loss Story Begins Today

Hello, loves! Welcome to my new blog, Finding The Inner Skinny. My name is Jessica, and I also blog at Jessie Kay Graphics and Design. But I have been wanting to make a new blog for a while, one to concentrate on my weight loss. I was going to make it anonymous. But I changed my mind when I decided that I want to connect with other people trying to lose weight like me. And I couldn't do that if you didn't know me.

This blog will be a work in progress for a while, but I hope to post here regularly. I hope you will stick around. This blog will chronicle my weight loss journey, my journey to lose 134 pounds (as of today). It will be a long journey. But it will be worth it.

Now, a little bit about me. My current weight is 264.4 lbs.  I am embarrassed to post that. But it is the truth. Over the past few years, I have managed to somehow put on 100 pounds. Well, not just somehow. I know how. By eating badly, not exercising, and just not really paying attention. In high school, I weighed 130 pounds, give or take. That's where I want to be again. To feel better. To look better. To be a better version of myself. The thing is, back then, I didn't ever have to try. I had never been overweight. I was blessed with a mother that cooked the majority of nights. I walked to school. I was thin, and I didn't even have to try. I'm definitely going to have to try now.

A weight I would like to get back to.. Circa 2009

Alas, I know that this weight loss will not come without changes. Starting tomorrow, I will be following the Vice Busting Diet book and posting my answers to the journal questions here. I have already been trying to eat better (read: no fast food, smaller portions) and I haven't been drinking anything but water. Tomorrow, I will start an exercise regimen, probably consisting of Zombies, Run 5k (which I had previously wrote about, but never finished, sadly.) and starting a regimen of weight lifting. I don't want to overload myself and end up giving up, but that is the point of this blog. To keep me going. To keep me accountable. To make you guys my support system.

I will try and end every post with a Reason To Be Fit. Why? Because I love them. And some of them cut to the bone. Like this one, in particular. Straight to the heart, tumblr, straight to the heart.

I hope you will stick with me while I try and figure all of this out. It's going to be a fun journey, and a long one. I hope you stick around.

Stay Fabulous.